Ella - The day you were born

Dear Ella,

The moment I found out I was pregnant I started dreading the day you would be born. I was excited to have you, but not about having a C-section. For nine months I worried about your birth. I had a terrible fear of something going wrong during the operation; not only wrong, but that I would die.

With Riley, I had an unplanned C-section and didn't have time to even think about being nervous. But with you, Ella, I had plenty of time to think and worry.

Your due date was never certain and it changed a lot. We were scheduled to have you on June 25, but on the Friday before that Monday I found out I had to wait one more day to meet you. June 26 is also your Uncle Timothy's birthday. It was a Tuesday, and the temperature was around 100 degrees that day.

Your Daddy and I arrived at the hospital at about 9:30 to get ready to meet you around 12:00. I cried off and on all morning and more so once it was just your Daddy and me in the hosiptal room. I told the nurses how scared I was and thankfully I knew one of the nurses, Kim Hardy. She was so sweet. She let the anestesiologist know how nervous I was and he came and tried to reassure me.

Family started arriving around 11:30 and there were more tears. I was so scared! I wanted my Daddy. Where was he? At Applebee's with Aunt Ma, Tio, Riley, and Mamaw, flirting with all the waitresses and women.

Just before I went in the operating room Aunt Ma came in. I cried the most when I hugged her neck for the last time. It was a terrible feeling going into the operating room thinking I was going to die. I hugged your Daddy last and walked down the hallway.

I'm an emotional person but still tried to control myself. It was no use. I cried getting up onto the operating table and cried as the gave me the spinal block. A male student was in the room and the nurses asked if it was ok if he stayed during the C-section. I didn't care. Knowing he was there kind of took my mind off things for a few minutes. He asked if I was what a normal pregnant person should look like. The nurses said yes, that I hadn't gained too much weight. That made me feel good.

Despite all this, I couldn't control my tears or my breathing. Later I found out I was having a panic attack. Kim Hardy stood beside me and talked to me the whole time. She asked me all kinds of questions about my family and my dad. It was kind of irritating at the time, but now I realize she got me through the panic attack.

Finally your Daddy came in. I was so glad to see him! The operation had just started. The anesthesiologist kept telling me that everything was "textbook" and then he looked at Henry and said, "She had a panic attack but is doing ok now." Your Daddy laughed.

The doctors told me that I would feel a lot of pressure on my chest, like someone was sitting on me. More like an elephant was sitting on me. It was hard to breathe and very uncomfortable. This lasted an eternity. You would not come out! They could see your head and said you were shaking it "no." Everyone laughed because they said you didn't want to come out.

Finally, at 1:35 you came out crying. I was so happy to hear you cry. Riley didn't cry and had a hard time breathing at first, so your cries made me feel reassured. As soon as the nurses laid you down on your table you tee-tee everywhere. After you were cleaned up they handed you to your Daddy and he brought you to me. You looked just like your big sister!

Your Daddy carried you out of the operating room and left me to finish the surgury and go to recovery. The rest of the surgery took about 15 minutes. I was alarmed when people started cleaning the operating room while I was still being operated on. They were in full-scale clean-up mode while I was still being gutted. Not to mention, nurses and doctors were carrying on as if I wasn't laying there eviscerated. Music was playing and they were making plans for the weekend. No lie.

Finally, my doctor came around to my head and said they were finished. No one was more relieved than me. I was alive! I went to recovery for about an hour. This time I was completely lucid and knew what was going on. With Riley I was knocked out but kept coming to not knowing what was going on. This time I had full view of the clock and was watching it too! I was ready for the one hour to pass so I could meet my baby. One of the nurses told me to remember to massage my fondus, "So you don't bleed to death." That one little sentence had me worried for two days. Heifer.

I wasn't alone in the recovery room. "Vanity" (that was her real name, or what the nurses were calling her), was next to me. She was having a much worse time than I. They were talking to her trying to calm her down as she tried to get up... repeatedly. She was moaning and yelling. Poor Vanity. I wonder why she was in recovery and what happened to her.

Finally I was rolled out of there and away from Vanity. When I got to my room you and your Daddy walked in right behind me. I was so happy to see both of you! Friends and family trickled in after you and then your sister came to meet you face to face.

I still couldn't believe I was alive!

The next two days in the hospital were filled with pain for me. I had a much more painful recovery the second time around. When we had Riley we didn't know we could send her to the nursery for a few hours so we could rest. With you, Ella, your Daddy demanded it. Not only was he caring for you, but I was in so much pain that I couldn't help him. I am very sensitive to pain medicine also, and when I asked your Daddy about the 7 other kids we had, he knew it was time for you to leave.

At times, the pain was so bad I was crying uncontrollably. And when I would cry it would make things worse. When the nurses were finally able to get ahead of my pain I was in a much better place.

You were a good baby in the hospital! I was happy to get you home and love on you!

Love you, Mama

July 2012 Newsletter

Ella and Riley,

I think everyone would agree that we've had a busy summer. But, it's been blissful.

Our first family photo 6-27-2012

Ella, you're a month old this week and you're still the sweetest thing I've ever met. You are such a good baby for me, exactly the opposite as your sister. You love me the best, but you're really warming up to your Daddy, and you love to hear your sister's voice.

I didn't know a baby could be so good. After Riley, I was under the impression that babies never slept. I've come to realize that a baby will sleep, especially you, Ella.

You had several fussy days, but after switching to a new bottle you've settled down again. You sleep reasonably well at night, only waking to eat and then going back to sleep. All I can say is, "THANK GOODNESS!" I am more experienced now, but with Riley it was nothing for me to go more than 24 hours without any sleep. Riley never has been a sleeper, and still isn't. But Ella, you're my sleeper. You really are a good baby. I am so in love.

Riley, don't feel left out or neglected. I couldn't make it through the day without you. You are my right hand and you keep me sane. You're someone for me to talk to and you are always ready for a "job." Some days you want to snuggle more than normal, but that's the extent of your jealousy. You love your little sister. When we have visitors, you are so proud to show her off. The pride beams from your face.

You are so smart and you don't forget a thing. We really are impressed with your memory. You reminded Paw-Paw about a shirt he wore on our Summer vacation to Galveston, last year.

People say you look like me. I take that as a compliment. You can be a handful somedays, especially when your imagination gets going. You have brothers, more sisters and a husband. You have a job and pay bills. You wear me out.

School will start in about three weeks and both of you will be in day care. I'm really trying to squeeze in all the kisses and hugs I can before then. I can only hope the work day goes by fast, because I will miss you both so, so much. I'm anxious to get into a routine around work and school though.

I love you girls, more than you can ever imagine. I hope I make you proud to be my daughters.

Love, Mama

Ella's Room

I'm excited to show off Ella's room. Thanks to Pinterest and my sister, Morgan, her room is almost finished!

Above her bed is the letter "E" in a silver frame...

In one corner of her room is this corner shelf my Grandad built. The green vase came from a flower shop when I was in the hospital with Riley. I added the Gerber daisies from Hobby Lobby. I'm also using the shelf a a beginning book shelf. One the second to last shelf are embroidery hoops with fabric in them. The fabric matches all the bedding in the room.

Ella's first book: "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly" by Kate Toms. This book is so cute!

This is Ella's bed. I made the fitted crib sheet from a vintage flat sheet of my Grandmom's. The dust ruffle was made out of vintage sheets as well. And the crib bumper I made out of assorted fabric and white minky.

Ella approves!

Also in the room is a twin bed. My Great-Grandmother purchased it in the 50's. The orange pillow case is an oldie from my Grandmom's house. I made the quilt using mostly half-square triangles.

On the wall above the twin bed is more embroidery hoops with fabric.

In the corner above Ella's bed I hung pom poms and lanterns. My sister, Morgan, helped me make the pom poms and did all the arranging because I am not that talented.

My husband also painted the walls. When we bought the house the entire room was the turquoise blue color.  I could handle the blue, but wanted to tame it just a little, so we painted the top half buttermilk cream and my Grandad and husband added the chair rail.

This is my favorite room in the house! And the bed is so comfortable! I have a few more things I want to add. Hopefully I'll get around to them this summer!

Jaycie

Ella Rae Smith

Dear Riley & Ella,

We welcomed someone new on June 26. Daddy is out numbered big time now!

Our family is so very complete now. Ella, You are the perfect baby for our family. You don't cry much, you sleep all the time, and you're just the sweetest little girl. Riley, you're the perfect big sister. You are helpful, except when it comes to throwing diapers away, you're caring, and you are so proud of your little sister.

I couldn't be happier than I am right now. If I would have had another baby like Riley I don't think I could say the same thing. Riley was needy, cried all the time, and never slept. Ella sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. Right now she is sleeping about 20 hours a day. Riley never slept more than 15 hours a day. And when not sleeping, Riley was crying. It's not all her fault; I had no idea what I was doing. Looking back, I'm sure Riley just wanted to eat, but instead I was trying to sing her lullaby's. With Ella, I know a little more and am much more relaxed. So much better the second time around!

Love my girls and my husband so much!

Love, Mama

Just One Kid

Dear Riley,

We've got about a month to go before your new little sister joins us. It's a very exciting time for everyone, and I think you're the most excited.

You've been home with me since school has been out and I can honestly say I don't know how I could make it without you. You are very helpful; offering to do little chores and help me with any and everything. You help me clean house, cook our food, do our laundry, and most importantly, get ready for your sister.

I love spending long days with you again. We do everything together! EVERYTHING!

Since moving to our new house you've had two fishing poles. The first, a Disney Princess fishing pole, is at the bottom of Lake Palestine if you ever want to look for it. We were fishing and not catching anything, as usual, when for some reason you just dropped your pole. To break your heart even more, the fishing pole sank so slowly. It was a long goodbye, followed by many tears. I don't think you'll be dropping your newest pole in the water.

Your daddy is your knight-in-shining armor. When he is at home you are his shadow. He can't go outside without you frantically running for your flip flops. Henry is the perfect dad for you. He is patient, understanding, cares about your day and what you've accomplished. I'm so proud of him.

One thing you and your dad definitely have in common is your love of music. While Dad likes play instruments, you are the singer of the family. You can be counted on to sing along with the radio, no matter if you know the song or not. It's a sort of hum/mumble. Your favorite kinds of songs are sang by women, namely Kelly Clarkson, Lady Gaga, and Adele. The funny thing is that you know almost every song we hear on the radio. Your dad is a music catalog and can learn songs really quick, so I think you must get this from him. Thank goodness you don't get your vocal abilities from me.

I don't have the time or space to write down all the funny things you say. But, believe me, you say them, daily, hourly. Our recent conversation about where your baby sister came from comes to mind. It's probably not appropriate for the Internet, but it's one of the best. I'll tell you about it when you're older.

I think you're really mature for your age, and you're convinced that you will be a teenager at any minute. Sometimes you can be a little know-it-all, and I can't imagine where you get that from. The truth is, I see so much of myself coming out in you. You love to read. You love to be at home. You like to listen to adults talk. You like to repeat what you hear. You can be bossy. You like to know where you are going at all times and how many stops we will make. You're passionate. You rarely have major tantrums or give us a lot of behavior problems. You can be made to settle down when in public really quickly if you ever do get wild. We are able to rationalize with you and explain things and that seems to help your behavior also. I hear other parents talk about the terrible twos and threes, but we've not had either.

You don't like sharp words spoken to you. I am constantly trying to remind myself of that when I do have to get on to you. Your feelings get hurt quickly. I'm the same way.

I am so very proud of the little girl you have become. Your little sister will have the very best big sister in the world.

You're absolutely the best. You're my angel.

Love you, Mama