Nolan Henry: The Day You Were Born

Dear Nolan,

I can't decide if you will want to read my letters. Maybe your wife will!

I knew you would be born on July 22 for several months. All I had to do was hope my c-section wouldn't be rescheduled. It wasn't! I had a hard time towards the end of my pregnancy with you. I was huge and tired, plus had to take care of Riley and Ella. All by myself. It wasn't easy!

On Monday, July 22, your daddy and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. We were very excited! Actually, we fussed the whole way to the hospital. I can't even remember what it was about, but it ended once we got to the hospital to get ready for you.

We showed up and waited for things to get going. I was hooked up to monitors for about two hours before the c-section started. An old friend from high school was my nurse and took great care of me. She was also the one to "catch" you. It was nice knowing someone in the operating room.

Finally, around 7:30 my doctor came in and said it wouldn't be long. With Ella I was extremely nervous and ended up having a panic attack on the operating table. I was nervous this time around and had heavy breathing, but it wasn't as bad with you. Things seemed to move faster when I had you. Looking back, I can tell the panic attack with Ella was a prolonged event. Looking back with you, I was so much more calm while in the holding room.

Having an epidural isn't all that great. It's hard to relax knowing a long needle is going in your back. When the needle was inserted in my back, a very sharp pain radiated down to my knee and actually hurt. I yelped as my knee reflex shot forward.

I'm always relieved when your dad walks in the operating room. He has the biggest smile but I can never see it because he's wearing a surgical mask. 

At 8:16 a.m. you came out crying. 

While you were being cleaned up I went to recovery. This is always the hardest part for me! I hate being separated from everyone! There was a clock on a nearby wall and I kept my eyes on that clock. I knew I wouldn't be in recovery for more than an hour, and I was keeping track. When it was finally time for me to leave recovery I was wheeled to our room. No one was there either! I finally asked a nurse to let everyone know I was in my room. It wasn't long before your daddy walked in with you. 

I was happy to see you! You looked like the girls! 

You were by far the most painful delivery. Everyone said that getting my tubes tied would hurt. How true that was! The worst pain of my life!

We had several visitors. I remember April coming in and holding you. Maybe before or after you, Paw-Paw, Aunt-Ma, Riley and Ella came in to see us. My Dad dropped Ella right onto my bed and the first thing she did was lunge for me. Maybe you can imagine the pain! Riley oohed and ahhed over you, and claimed you were the cutest little thing she had ever seen. You were so handsome!

I love you Nolan Henry Smith. It was worth it all to get you here. 

Love, Mama.

Ella Rae : 13-month newsletter

Dear Ella

This month finds you in a brand new role: big sister. When you first came to the hospital you were definitely unsure of the situation. You wanted me to hold you, but less than an hour after a c-section and tubal ligation was a little soon for me to try and wrestle you. You didn't like that! Since then, you've definitely warmed up to Nolan. You love to give him kisses. But the best part for you is when we praise you for being so sweet. You are so sweet! 

And at that time you wanted nothing to do with Nolan. The two nights I spent in the hospital were also the first nights you had spent away from you. You gave Paw-Paw a run for his money! You're very rambunctious and rough. You love to tussle and are still trying to walk. You can take just a few steps but you're still timid.

The physical difference between you and Nolan is astonishing. It's like you grew up overnight. You are very plump and round and soft while Nolan is skinny and little.

You won't talk but you communicate by grunts and whines. Oh the whines!  You're sort of fussy. And you will point to whatever it is that you want. We are left to read your mind, usually incorrectly. 

You had a great birthday party (almost a month late). Lots of friends were here and you got lots of new toys that you love.

You and your daddy are pals. You like to sit with him when he plays the guitar. You love to dance and laugh to his music.

You are a sweet little sister and a loving big sister. You love it when Riley plays with you. You've just started giving Nolan huge wet kisses.

We love you so much Ella Rae. You're my little baby.

Love, mama

Ella Rae - 1 year newsletter

Dear Ella

Happy 1 year birthday! It's so hard to believe you are already one. You're my baby and I'm not sure I'm ready to let you grow up!



We have had a great summer and I love watching you learn and play with Riley. You've started cruising around the couch and it won't be long before you take a few steps. Several people have commented that you need to be walking before your little brother comes. I agree, but you can take all the time you need. I doubt I'll go out much with all three of you very soon anyway. To be honest, I think we all need some down time at home. We've traveled quite a bit this summer and spent several nights away. You love coming home to your bed.

When we are home, you hang right with Riley all day long. She loves to make a mountain of pillows in the living room and roll around on them. Turns out you really like it too. I love to hear your giggles during this time. Riley is
Definitely your favorite person to play with. You regularly crawl away from me to go play in Riley's room. Riley watches you like a hawk. She was made to be a big sister.

You have the sweetest smile , especially when you have something you're not supposed to have.



People want to hold you all the time. You don't mind this most of the time, however if its someone you aren't familiar with you do the sweetest thing. It's really just because you don't want them to hold you. When they pick you up, almost every time you will lay your head on their shoulder. You will stay that way until i get you back.  It melts people's hearts.

You do have a little bit of an attitude. If I take a toy away it is an immediate fit. A huge fit. You get uncontrollably mad. You have a serious frown you don't mind using. You also hate to change clothes or have your diaper changed. I know... All kids hate this. But Ella, you severely hate this. You will thrash and kick and scream. It is a real wrestling match, and one that I don't always win.

This will be the last newsletter you get before you're a big sister. It's very hard to imagine you with a little brother. I doubt you'll want much to do with him.



I'm ready, though. I feel like I'm about to climb Mt. Everest. I've had 6 months to prepare for this and still don't think I'm ready. My house certainly isn't ready! It is getting there slowly but surely. I hope to be much better prepared with food this time around. When Ella came home we had to go from the hospital to Brookshire's to get supper. I'm not going to do that to myself this time around.

And, I'm ready for Henry to be home with us. It's hard without him right now, so I'm really looking forward to the extra help. Henry is amazing in the hospital after the c-sections. He does it all, from helping me to caring for the baby. He's a great decision-maker when I've had pain medicine.

So, here we go!

I love you Ella! You're my little angel.

Love, Mama

Ella Rae: 11-month newsletter

Dear Ella,

A few days ago you turned 11 months. I can't believe you're almost a year old. You went from crawling to pulling up really quickly. Walking is another story. You hate to move your feet. Even if I stand behind you and hold your hands, you don't like to take steps. Crawling gets you where you want to go so you stick with that. You're getting so big!

Anything Riley does, you want to be right there with her. Riley is ok with that, as long as you don't go in her room. She's gotten into the habit of shutting her door anytime she goes in her room. Not a bad idea either, since she has all kinds of small things on the floor. Riley plays with you a bunch. She gets on your nerves sometimes though, because she won't leave you alone. Your favorite game to play with Riley is "chase." Riley crawls around on the floor and you "chase" her. You're not actually after her but don't tell Riley that.

You had your ear surgery a few weeks ago and everything turned out fine. The whole family went: me, Daddy, and Riley. It was a long morning! When you came out of recovery you had the meanest look on your face. You were mad! And probably a little groggy, too. When you saw me you started to cry. We had a bottle ready and you drank it while I held you. Then for the longest time you just laid in my arms wanting to be close to me. It didn't take long for you to be back to your old self. 

We bought a little swimming pool for you and Riley to splash in. You hate it. Riley loves it. 

Ella, you like to be where the action is. If I'm in the kitchen cooking, that's right where you want to be. You love for someone to sit in the floor and let you climb all over them. You already have a favorite book: 

You love this book! The ladybugs are hard and stand out from the pages. You like to rub your fingers over them. 

You are very facially expressive. You frown most often, but you also love to laugh and smile. Your smile is so cute with your bottom two teeth. 

Riley adores you. I hear her say to you all the time, "Best sisters!" She's heard "best friends" from movies, so she changed it to suit the two of you. She loves to make you laugh. 

Riley has just about finished her first year of pre-k. Her birthday is two weeks past the cut-off for Kindergarten, making her have to repeat pre-k. It's not the end of the world and I know she will be extra-ready for Kindergarten. Riley loves to read and color. I've got some things to keep her busy on this summer and to help her read and learn. She gets bored quickly so I hope we get to go to the local libraries and to a few museums before the little brother gets here. 

I'm not sure how things will work when there is one more to take care of and tend to. I feel stretched pretty thin already so I don't know how I will handle it all! Without a doubt I couldn't do it without Riley. She's a huge help to me. I'm trying to remember how it feels to have a baby inside my belly moving around because I know this will be the last time. I took care of that paperwork at the first appointment! I'm ready to meet the little fella, though. We all are.

Ella, you're the sweetest little thing I've ever met. I'm so ready for school to be out so I can spend every day with you. Love you so much. 

Riley, you're my best friend. I couldn't make it without you, ever. 

Love you both,

Mama

Ella Rae - 10 month newsletter

Dear Ella Rae,

You've blossomed into the smiliest, happiest baby here lately. You love to laugh and smile at anybody. Riley makes you laugh the most, with Daddy following at a close second.

In one short month, you've just about gotten over the being left alone in a room. Maybe because you started crawling! You can crawl anywhere you want, which is nice but also gives me more to do. Riley has had to adjust as well. She's not used to keeping her small toys picked up off the floor. If she finds anything small she picks it up and lets me know that "Ella can not play with this little thing." Riley is very conscious of your well-being and it still hurts her feelings so much if you are hurt because of her. She tried to tickle you the other day and you fell back and hit your head. It scared you more than anything, but it absolutely broke Riley's heart.

Ella, I still can't believe you are my baby. You are my baby. You are so perfect in every way. I love to play with you and snuggle up with you. You and I both love to let you try out new foods. There isn't anything you don't like. You'll eat anything!

One of our favorite games to play is "No, no." Anytime someone says "no, no" you shake your head and sometimes say "no, no" back at us. You really shake your head! All the way to one side and back again. I'm not sure how you picked this up, because we haven't gotten to the point where we tell you "no, no" all the time. Maybe you're smart like your Mama! ;)

You've also got two top teeth coming in. Your mouth is a dangerous place to stick a finger now-a-days!

We had some pictures made a few weeks ago, as you can tell. I desperately wanted you to have something to look at to prove you were the baby, if even for a little while. Kim Fisher came to Grandad's and took these for us. I was shocked there was even one good picture! Between you and Riley, Kim had her work cut out for her! All you wanted to do was crawl around on the blanket and Riley wanted to do her silly poses. I was stressed! They turned out great and I'm so happy to have had these made. 

Ella, in a couple of weeks you are having a procedure done on your ears. You have to go under anesthesia. I know everything will be fine, but most likely I will be by myself with you during this time. I hate for anything to be wrong with my little baby but I know this procedure will help you out so much! The pain you've been in since December isn't fair and I don't like it happening. We will both have to be big girls that morning!

I love you so much, Ella. You're my heart's beat.

Love, Mama