How are you? I pray as you read my letters that you are well, that you are loving, being loved, and laughing. I pray you are happy and enjoying life the way it was meant to be enjoyed.
This month you have started to assert your ever-evolving preferences: from flavor of drink, food, or writing utensil, to who you want to go see. You know what you want and you ask for it, sometimes more like demand, depending on how necessary the object is at the moment. Your favorite drink is milk, your favorite food is French fries (no matter how many healthy alternatives I offer), and your preferred writing utensils are colored pencils. Colored pencils also make for exceptional drum sticks. You even clap them overhead and chant, "1, 2, 3, 4" before you begin your drum solo. Riley, you usually want your Grandad when you ask for someone. A lot of the time you want Aunt Ma, and you love your PawPaw. I am forever thankful that you get to grow up knowing Grandmom and Grandad, and even more grateful that you get to spend whole days with them nestled around the fireplace.
I love coming home from work to see you every day. You usually greet me with a big hug and "I miss you!" Nothing could warm my heart more than you missing me throughout your day. I am already looking forward to summertime.
I love you so much! I constantly question myself if I am a good mother or not. As you know, I didn't have a good mother, or much of any mother for that matter. My birthday was this past weekend and I never heard from her the entire weekend. I still am unable to 100% sort my feeling out regarding her. While I want a mom to be there for me, to listen to my problems, and to enjoy and desire my company, I have had to realize that will never happen for me.
In the depths of my heart I never want you to experience that feeling. The only thing that comforts me is knowing I am able to do everything in my power to prevent you from ever feeling like that. We may not always have the resources (like this year, no time!) to do extravagant parties and gifts, but you'll always be loved beyond any possible doubt. I am determined to give you the mother I never had or will ever have. I am so excited what our lives have in store for us, together.
I love you,